1. |
Katie Cubed
05:09
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She was Leia
I was an Ewok
She was the daughter
Of the local doctor
Took me behind the bike shed
Then she kissed me
Victoria said ‘I know what you been doing’
Now I wonder; ‘does she miss me?’
That was how it went ‘til I left that school
You know I, you know I, you know I, always did
Always did play the fool
But I was 8
Her name was Kate
In her winter’s coat she was an Eskimo
Standing at the train station
She had her father’s nose
Broken aquiline
She walked me home from work
It was the beginning of, something
But I was such a jerk
Turned it into, nothing
I followed all the men’s magazine single guy rules
Written by single guys for single fools
Yeah I tried, I tried, I tried, to play it cool
I didn’t ask for a date
I didn’t date Kate
She wore a summers dress
In my summer of drugs
Her big green eyes
Cured come down depression bugs
All over Glastonbury
I searched high and low
She had the eyes
Of a girl I once didn’t know
With her Buddhist bracelets and her magic potions
She took my wrist, bound it with emotions
And I was a fool as I tried to, play it cool
Last time I’d see those eyes
Didn’t even say goodbye
She didn’t wait
There left Kate
And it feels like, my whole life
I’ve been missing out, on Kate
And it feels like, my whole life
I’ve been running away, from Kate
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2. |
Counting On You
03:50
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I’ve been lost, so very long
Never had no map, just all went wrong
I’ve paid the cost, I’ve paid my dues
Wish I had the voice, to sing the blues
Cos I’ve been counting on you
Yeah I hoped you’d save me
I’ve left home, I’ve hung around
I’ve looked for you, when I’m in town
I’ve taken time, wanted to be sure
Now you’re almost gone, I just want more
Cos I’ve been counting on you
Yeah I hoped you’d save me
I’m lost at sea, and sinking fast
I need a dream, one that will last
But I can’t sleep, can barely breathe
I might just stop, the day you leave
Cos I’ve been counting on you
Yeah I hoped you’d save me
Cos I’ve been counting on you
I should have known I’d have to save myself
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3. |
Back In High School
04:42
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I hated school when I went
But now I’ve left I wanna be there
It was much easier going on a date
None of the pressures that you have to get laid
Can’t we just lie and watch the sky
Like back in high school
Teachers gave me stick for not handing essays in
Bosses don’t give a shit it’s just another mark in the book
It was so great skipping school
These days it just doesn’t seem so cool
As back in high school
Skipping school and going down the park
Drinking cokes smoking joints so young at heart
Eyeing girls on the swings love was such a wonderful thing
Now we’ve grown up love is on the slide
Yeah high school
Used to ride my bike past Megan’s house
Now I’m tryna sell my bike to keep my car
With a bike you can only go anywhere
With a car you can only go so far
Back to high school
Used to hide and seek now you can’t find a hiding place
You change your hair but you can’t change your face
With new friends standing by your side
Old friends get left behind
Very few photos can capture the time
Of back in high school
On the phone everynight some couple have had a fight
Big news breaking on the telephone wire
Now the calls you make are to friends that have moved away
It can never ever be the same
As it was in high school
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4. |
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Where’d you get your strong beliefs
Strong enough to be willing to die
Wore your heartbeat on your sleeve
But you were only just a child
Now you’re a face upon a wall
A heroine, martyrdom
Now you’re a face upon a wall
Still sing, that marching song
Was a grenade your first toy
Playground fight on a battlefield
Did you fall in love with a soldier boy
A patriot that never yields
When they led you to your fate
Eyes wide open aged nineteen
Stared down the barrels they took aim
Sang your way into history
“I only know how to stand
I do not know how to kneel”
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5. |
The One That Stayed
03:57
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I’ll fall in love at a single smile
But anything more and I’ll run a mile
And when they say it’s just lust
Say it’s love or bust
I wish I hadn’t taken your name in vein
I wish I’d kept you from my friends
I wish that we were 13
At 13 love never ends
I don’t care about your past
Cos looking back don’t last
It’s just a part of who you are today
And of all those other fools
I’ve never felt so cool
Cos I’m the only one that stayed
My single bed lately feels like a double
Since I saw you you know I’m in trouble
I can’t sleep at night
I give up the fight
My pillow feels like its made out of stone
When all I wanna feel is flesh & bone
And your hair on my face
I’m a disgrace
These sheets are stained in blood sweat & tears
From years of wrapping them around all my fears
Don’t wanna hide no more
Life’s becoming a bore
My dreams & nightmares all blend into one
You’re there at night in the morning you’re gone
I never want you to leave
Wanna feel you breathe
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6. |
Me Not You
04:04
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Some people go some people stay
They never know me anyway
I closed my heart off yesterday
Self-preservation and decay
I have my own world and it’s blue
I don’t need no one to get through
I stop at start and remain true
It is me it is not you
I feel my fire has gone out
I cannot scream I cannot shout
My mind is full of self-doubt
I am the one they laugh about
I am the unwanted black sheep
I am the thing that you don’t keep
I close my eyes so I don’t weep
I see demons when I sleep
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7. |
Hey, Hi!
03:41
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All I ever wanted was for you to just say hi
All I ever got from you was a nod to say goodbye
One look, just a glance, enough time for a lil romance
Never wanted so much from you
Never cared to land anything on you
All I wanted from you was a little hey hi
All I wanted from you was a little hey h’
I never even wanted for you to give me a reply
I never even gave a damn that you never said goodbye
But not a look, not a glance, not even time for a lil romance
Never wanted so much from you
Never got anything less from you
All I wanted from you was a little hey hi
All I wanted from you was a little hey hi
OK so don’t say hi, you can walk, just walk on by
Not a smile or, not a stare
Ain’t got anything you ain’t got there
Don’t you wave, and don’t you cry
Don’t give me anything, not even goodbye
Cos all I ever wanted was a little hey hi
Cos all I ever wanted was a little hey hi
Ok, so don’t say hi, ok so don’t say hi
Ok, so don’t say hi, ok now, don’t say hi
All I wanted from you was a little hey hi
All I wanted from you was a little hey hi
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8. |
Twilight Days
04:13
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In your babydoll
Living room floor
Bay window
Sun is coming up
Drunken kids
Dunno what they want
She lets me leave
Didn’t wanna go
(Chorus)
What have we learned?
Will we make the same mistakes?
Two thousand miles
Or twilight days
Innocent times
Complicated lives
Secret rhymes
Lovers entwined
Sculpted nails
Calloused fingers
Our broken tales
The past lingers
(Chorus)
Break of dawn
Sun is coming up
Don’t let me go
Don’t let me go
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9. |
Irregular Heartbeat
04:05
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I’m not comfortable in my own skin
The older I get then the more I breathe in
An’ I’ve a nagging fear I’m becoming my dad
He's not a bad man so it’s not all that bad
But I’ve hopes and dreams that aint dead yet
I’ve not much to risk so what’s wrong with a bet
And I’m not ready to trade my dreams for
An employee of the month award
(Chorus)
And if all songs are written for the young
The older you get, the more that you need one
And I’m not talkin’ bout the young at heart
Cos my irregular heartbeat don’t quite beat so hard
As it used to, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nu nu nu nu
As it used to, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nu nu nu nu
Find the older I get, the younger I want
But twenty-three year old girls are the hardest to fool
When you feel like a fake and you want to leave
Can’t wait to get home and put up your feet
They say that 27 is the hardest year
I’m nearly 40 man I’ve so much to fear
And sometimes in the morning’s when I look in my eyes
See the bags, just wanna curl up and die
(Chorus)
And I’m not responsible
I’m not responsible
I’ve no responsibility
I’m not responsible
I’m not responsible
No one’s responsible for me
(Chorus)
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10. |
Dancing To No Music
04:49
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You’ve got your prom ticket in your bathrobe
You’ve got your sunglasses in your car
You’ve got your ID in your pocket
But you don’t know who you are
You’re dancing to no music
And you’re singing to no tune
You’re not going to the dance
And you aint been out, since June
The music’s playing but no one can hear the words
Everyone remembers what they saw not what they heard
We’ll stand at a distance and watch from the outside
It’s the end the day now we gotta make it thru the night
We’re dancing to no music
And we’re playing to no tune
We’re not going to the talent show
But we’re laughing at the moon
You’re not going to the talent show
And you aint going to the prom
You don’t know where you’re going to
And you don’t know where you’re from
You ain’t gonna go cos you aint got a date
And if you go at all you’re gonna turn up late
You gotta put on those glasses and take that chance
I guess when it comes down to it…
I shoulda asked you to dance
But everyone’s dancing to no music
And they’re singing to no tune
They’re already at the dancehall
But they’re getting ready to leave soon
They’re not going to the talent show
And they aint got nowhere else to roam
I don’t know about anyone else
All I know is I’m going home
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11. |
Release
03:14
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I’ve crossed borders
International waters
To get away from you
To give you some time
I’ve been alone
Now I’m coming home
I hope to someone
Hope you’re still mine
(Chorus)
Cos I’d do anything
To make you happy
I’d let you go
Be released
And it’d do anything
But make me happy
And so I hope
You still want me
I’d leave town
Without a sound
I’d quit my job
If that’s what you want
Delete your number
Stand outside in thunder
Long walk off a short pier
Say it I’m gone
(Chorus)
I’d ditch my friends
Walk alone
Live a life of solitude
Give up my home
I’d rip my heart
Out of my chest
If you thought
It for the best
(Chorus)
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12. |
Everything Happened Then
02:52
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The glory days have passed us now
And there’s nothing much left to say
I guess that everything that was going to happen
Has happened now anyway
And if it mattered to you it doesn’t matter to me
Yeah I guess that’s how the story goes
And all the dreams that we shared while we were still awake
All disappeared when the last bar closed
(Chorus)
And who do you turn to when your heroes die
When nobody calls and your best friend lies
When you can’t sit still and you’ve been stood up again
And you grow up thinking, everything happened then
We spend all our days lately tryna turn back time
Another battle that we just can’t win
But there’s never been a time we’ve thought to ourselves
Maybe now’s the time to throw it in
And no-ones around to tell us what to do
So I guess we’re stuck for ideas
And who’s to tell us when we do something wrong
Now we’ve been at this for so many years
(Chorus)
Now everything that we believed
Has left us and let us down
We ain't hanging from a rope and we ain't lost all hope
But instead we’re just hanging around
And if it matters to me it doesn’t matter to you
Guess we were born too late anyway
I guess we’re left behind to tell the story
But that story starts after today
(Chorus)
And who do you turn to when your heroes lie
When somebody calls to say your best friend’s died
When you can’t sit still and you’ve been stood up again
And you grow up thinking, everything happened then
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13. |
You Already Are
04:48
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You wanna be a car
Instead you’re a bike
You wanna be a star
In a pitch black starless night
Well believe me, you already are
You wanna be a film
Instead you’re a documentary
On what it’s like
To wanna be something else
You wanna be multiplied
Instead you’re so divided
You wanna be on the mind
Of someone other than your self
Well believe me, you already are
You wanna be a guitar
But somebody snapped your strings
Well here’s your chance to get away
You want to be needed
But we all need different things
And nothing sounds pretty good to me today
You wanna be a jumper
But you’ve got no sleeves
You wanna be someone
Who is able to believe
Well believe me, you already are
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14. |
Reminds Me Of You
03:33
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This could be the best film
That I’ve ever seen
The pictures are beautiful
Upon the blue screen
Its funny it’s sad
It’s wise and dumb too
Its tragic triumphant
Reminds me of you
Reminds me of you
This could be the best song
That I’ve ever heard
Every chord makes me cry
Hang on every word
It’s happy it’s sad
Both made up and true
Its fucked up and beautiful
Reminds me of you
Reminds me of you
Megan I’m sorry
For all these clichés
But words escape me
So I write in this way
You’re much more than a film
And more than a song
You’re everything that’s right
And everything that’s wrong
You’re an unfinished script
A song with two chords
The most beautiful ocean
With two hidden shores
I can’t help but fall
I can’t help but climb
To every scene
And every rhyme
So close the curtain
And turn off the tape
I’ve read my last line
My encore has played
So Megan farewell
Megan goodbye
Turn off my tv
And sing you goodnight
And sing you goodnight…
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15. |
Backyard Dreaming
02:07
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Sit in my backyard for hours
Plenty weeds but there’s no flowers
Old movies and funeral plans
White face masks black arm bands
(CHORUS)
Backyard dreaming
Wake up screaming
There’s no freedom
Gimme some meaning
This summer was gonna be more
See some bands open some doors
Watching plans go up in smoke
Tryna laugh this is no joke
This summer was meant to be more
Now there’s no bands and we’re all in doors
Self-isolation inside
Saving those saving our lives
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16. |
Let Go
02:37
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If you love someone set them free
But what if they still don’t see
The answer is beyond me
And I’m not about to second guess
You can say what is on your mind
You can take everything that you find
‘Til you sever the ties that bind
You’re never gonna walk away
(Chorus)
And you’ll realise why you came
Not to hold on nor to reclaim
The only reason that you came was
To let go
You can chance it on the throw of a dice
You can say it more than once or twice
Until you take your own advice
You’re never gonna learn
You can walk or you can run
You can say you only did it for fun
‘Til you realise that you’ve only begun
You’re never gonna make a start
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17. |
A New World
03:43
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So let this be the start
Of better times
Open up our hearts
And our minds
We can heal
What’s gone before
When you love
You just want more
(Chorus)
Now we can hope
Again
Cleanse our souls
Of our sins
Right the wrongs
Of our past
Make a new world
And make it last
So let’s put away our hate
And forgive
Don’t suppress love
Let it breathe
Throw up our hands
And rejoice
Throw down your guns
You have a choice
So put away your sword
And pop your pen
Use your words
Don’t hide behind them
Smile at your enemy
And hug your friends
They’re all we have
In the end
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18. |
Sunflowers & Weeds
02:39
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I always brought you sunflowers
But I felt like a weed
An irritation in your garden
From an unwanted seed
You put me in water
Waited for me to drown
Put me in a pot
Six feet underground
I had no chance to be
The tree that I could
You snapped all my branches
And chopped off my wood
Now all that’s left
Is a severed root
And all that we were
Is unfulfilled shoots
You liked your whiskey
But I felt like rum
Tossed aboard a pirate ship
With nowhere to run
You poured me down the sink
To the sewer I’d flow
Mixed with the piss
And the seeds never grown
You took an occasional sip
And spat me back out
I was 100%
But you watered me down
I’m a hazy memory
On a lazy day
A stain on the sheets
Where we once both lay
You wanted a team
But I felt like a sub
You were the manager
And you owned the club
I never knew my place
Or even where to play
You stripped me of my shirt
Benched me on Saturday
You were always on attack
All I could do was defend
You blamed me for the loss
Every other weekend
I could have been the goat
But you herded me like sheep
I could have been worth millions
But I left on a free
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19. |
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I see her silhouette on the night sky
I see her dancing without a care
I see her bathing in the moonlight
Could have been me, could have been me
I see her trying on that new dress
I see her smiling in the mirror
I see it hug her hips her tummy and breasts
Could have been me, could have been me
(Chorus)
But the words I sing
To no melody
Get stuck inside my throat
An XY chromosome
My fate was sealed
And that was all she wrote
I see her laid back in the white sheets
I see her bite her lip her eyes dilate
I see her twist the sheets in painted nails
Could have been me, could have been me
I see her walking down the aisle
I see her father give her hand away
I see her nervous beaming smile
Could have been me, could have been me
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20. |
Jade
03:48
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So baby why don’t we
Leave this place
Just you and me
We’ll get a house by the sea
Sell our bodies on the street
Save our souls for when we’re free
And nobody will know
Where we’ve been who we are
Who we’ll be when we are we
He will become she
She will become me
We will be happy
For the first time in our lives
We’ll watch our body change
As seasons come and go
In with new and out with old
We’ll take our magic pills
No-one to say it’s just cheap thrills
As we watch our flowers bloom
And nobody will know
Where we’ve been who we are
Who we’ll be when we are we
He will become she
She will become me
We will be happy
For the first time in our lives
We’ll no longer be green
A book that’s left unread
Under a yellow sun
We’ll pick lavender
Hide in black and white
Until we become one
And then we’ll say goodbye
And nobody will know
Where we’ve been who we are
Who we’ll be when we are we
He will become she
She will become me
And I will be happy
For the first time in my life
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Jade Mia Broadhead Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK
Trans singer-songwriter from Newcastle Upon Tyne. Also the singer / guitarist in the trans-punk DIY riot grrrl band, Dinky Bossetti.
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